It doesn't take a village, it takes family

Sometimes you need to take a moment and look at what you have, really look hard. I know we have three absolute wonderful kids that I adore. I know that I have the best man at my side that has not only taken on me and my craziness, but he has taken on my children. Here we are planning our lives together, dreaming on what we could be and have and all the sudden the bottom fell out and the plan stalled. My oldest, was recently diagnosed with AVSD a congenital heart defect. We were his biggest fans during wrestling season, during soccer season and while strict with homework and school work we are also the biggest cheerleaders when the hard work paid off.

The last months I have come to lean on Jeremy more than I have ever thought I would rely on anyone. I have always considered myself an independent woman. A single mom for years, you have to be strong willed, hard working and driven but out of the blue here I am today, not the person I thought I was. I would like to think I had a close knit family, but I don't. As I am sure most of you can understand, when Grandparents pass, and you grow up, families start to thin out. You spend less time doing family fun things. Being that I was a single Mom, I tried to keep connected no only for my own need for roots, but also for my children. They deserved to have the sense of family. Over the years, situations occurred, accidents and hardships and less and less time is spent doing things together as a family.

The last few months, I thought things turned around and family once again became important, but deep down I knew better. I even said, this is a temporary. Everyone is coming around because of the new news of hardship, the news of a congenital heart defect, the news of open heart surgery... but as soon as the news of recovery was announced the less and less you hear from the so called supporters you have. The situation had not changed, yes the surgery is over and yes the eminent danger is over and he is doing well, but he still has a congenital heart defect.  As a matter of fact today we were at the cardiologist and there still is a small leak in the mitral valve and there is also a small leak in the atrial wall where the wall was constructed. So no, he is not out of danger, but does anyone even know this or if he was going to the cardiologist? No because it is once again that our family has thinned out. Quick fact, 50% of children with CHDs require at least one invasive surgery. We have already have gone there. Another fact, thousands of children with CHDs will not reach adulthood. I can guarantee that I will not ever thin out on time with my children, because you just never know when time is up.  My daughter, who should not be left behind or feel any less important because her brother has a heart disease, tested for her new belt this past week and so were the standard fans.  It isn't that no one cares, it is that what they care about is more important to them and only when they need to be there for their own selves is it important.

Funny thing, the people that care the most all the time, matter the all the time. I do not have room in my life for anyone that does not truly care about me or my family.  When I say family... I mean our three absolute wonderful kids, Jeremy and me.  I know that Jeremy cares. He has given me the roots that I have not had for my entire adult life, he has taken my stubborn ass and settled my crazy life and allowed me let down my walls and be able to rely on someone. He loves me and my children in sickness and health, while I taken on my new passion for CHD awareness and he supports and encourages my dreams for awareness and an eventual cure.  Who ever said it takes a village to raise a child was full of shit. You only need someone who actually cares and is willing to be there when it is good, bad and in between. Especially the in between ... cause you just never know.